There are times in life when we are so very clear about our problems, and we know the solution, and we immediately take the steps to rectify the problem.
Then there are the times that we know we have a problem, but just can’t seem to put my finger on what it is? How do I go about rectifying this elusive, hidden, mysterious culprit?
I would suggest we tackle this in the same way as example one.
First, we acknowledge that there is a problem. I hear your chuckles. Its true, we need to acknowledge there is a problem.
You see often we ignore it, tell our selves I’m making it up, everything is wonderful. I have a nice house, good job, loving partner, children, dog, or a guinea-pig. I may have every marker of societal success and live in abundance.
Yet, I have this niggling voice/feeling/intuition or sense of emptiness that tells me all is not well.
There is nothing wrong with you, this is a truly human experience, common to us all. While the label is common, its effects are unique to me or you.
Observe what I can about this niggling voice/feeling/intuition or sense of emptiness. When do I hear it most? Where do I feel/sense it most in my body? When do I know it is finished its monologue? Observe and gather as much information about this mysterious problem as you can. This information is really important in developing your change strategy. What are its unique markers that let me know that it is the culprit?
Some people may use the term acceptance, and if this suits you then use it. I prefer the term non-resistance as it cultivates the image of me being the observer, watching, not interfering or fighting against anything. It gives me the image of not wasting energy on something that is a negative in my life. Observing in a state of non-resistance permits me to see something as it is. A thought.
Often this process of acknowledgement, observation and non-resistance is enough for me to gain clarity of what the problem is: where it resides, what it looks like and the results of having it. Now, is the time to identify what I don’t like about the problem, what I would like instead. There are times when identifying what the problem is, is not the solution. Sometimes our clarity moment has us realise that I need to cultivate a different patter of thinking rather than rectify a specific problem with a name.
Plan & Action
Although I will help and guide you throughout the process, it is here where I help you most. When you have identified and named your solution, I open my therapeutic tool box and shine my therapeutic torch in the direction I discern will be the safest, least painful, and most effect road to affect your change. I will guide and direct you, but you will be doing all the work.
You see, you have the answers, treatments, strengths and ability within you for self-healing and problem solving. Sometimes, we need another person to hold the torch while we work with both hands.